My Naturopathic Consultation

Yesterday, I went to a Naturopathic Fertility Clinic for an initial consultation. I had found the clinic by searching on the Internet for somewhere nearby to purchase PreSeed. When I went to buy the PreSeed, I was very impressed by the calm, relaxing atmosphere in the clinic. Since I am waiting to see a Fertility Specialist, I decided to try some naturopathic support in the meantime. Both Mr. Pharmasaur and I prefer to enhance our fertility by natural means before starting drug therapy. This is interesting since we are both the in the pharmaceutical field!

I really liked the Naturopath (ND). She was very warm, friendly, understanding and knowledgeable. I had filled out a 12 page form with all of my pertinent information to bring along with me. The ND asked me questions related to this and did some Chinese medicine work (looking at my tongue and taking the pulses in my wrist.) She asked me about lifestyle choices such as waking, bed and mealtimes. Then the ND made her recommendations.

She encouraged me to try to settle into a routine for waking, bed and mealtimes which will help support my adrenal gland function. This will be tricky with my current work schedule as my hours vary consistently even within the same week.

As for exercise, the Naturopath urged me to continue walking. She said if I could fit in swimming once or twice a week, that would be great. She didn't recommend starting an intense exercise routine as it could disrupt my system even further. I love to swim and I am looking forward to getting back to the pool soon.

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Then the ND made her nutritional recommendations:

Breakfast - protein, fruit, dairy and grain

Lunch - protein and vegetables (at least 50% of the meal!)

Dinner - protein and vegetables (sometimes a grain: limited to brown rice, quinoa or buckwheat)

Snack - fruit and/or vegetable with protein

She also recommended eating raw ground flax and raw pumpkin seeds every day. Raw chia, sunflower and ground sesame seeds are also encouraged occasionally.

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I am supposed to consume 1 to 1.5 L of water each day. Clear, herbal teas can be included in this total.

The ND recommended an herb called vitex agnus castus (or chastetree/berry) to help increase my LH production and thereby increasing progesterone levels. This herb needs to be stopped as soon as I get pregnant.

As for supplements, the ND suggested that I continue with my prenatal vitamin and vitamin D. She recommended zinc, vitamin B6, calcium capsules, co-enzyme Q10 and fish oil supplements.

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By analyzing my history, my current cycle irregularity, my tongue, and my pulses, the ND suspects I am deficient in zinc and progesterone. The chasteberry should help to regulate my cycles. Hopefully, by the time I get in to see the fertility specialist, my body will be more hormonally balanced again.

I am going back to see the ND in one month for a followup visit. The Naturopath wants to try some acupuncture then. She assured me that once I follow the diet and supplement plan that I will feel fantastic. My biggest challenge will be decreasing the sugars that I eat. I know that this new plan is healthy, balanced, sensible and simple. Even if it doesn't help me to conceive (fingers crossed that it will!) , I feel that it will improve my overall health.

I am very glad that I went to the clinic. I have done a lot of research on foods, herbs and supplements for fertility. I have read about many options on the Internet. I wasn't sure which combinations were right for me, so I'm glad that I have a health professional's recommendations and follow up care now.

Meet Baby Citysaur!

Introducing Benjamin James, aka Baby Citysaur. Born 3/10/10 at 6:24 PM. Weighing in at 7 lbs 15oz, 20 1/4 inches long.

I mentioned in my last post that our midwife wanted us to kick start labor on Wednesday...well kick start we certainly did! We started out at 8:45 AM with her stripping my membranes. Then we did some nipple stimulation and took an hour power walk. At 11:30 AM, the midwife broke my water. We did more walking as we went out to have lunch and gather our bags at home, then back to the birth center. By the time we arrived back at the birth center at 1:30 PM, I was having contractions that were 2 minutes apart and was most definitely in labor!

Not the most flattering picture of me, but here we are, in the early part of active labor, just after arriving at the birth center. I did not look this good as the day progressed!

I won't go into the whole, explicitly detailed birth story, but I'll summarize from here. I labored for about 3 hours before pushing, exploring various positions including the birth ball, the shower, the tub, and hanging off the bedpost. About 4:30 or so, I went to the bathroom at the suggestion of the birth assistant, and I started to feel the urge to push. Pushing lasted about two hours, and was the most exhausting part of the experience. The only downside to not going into spontaneous labor was that Ben hadn't quite descended, so I had to work extra hard at getting him down. That part was difficult, because every time I'd make progress during a contraction, he'd slip back when I went to rest in between.

Eventually, after pushing for a while in the tub and hanging off the bedpost, I got into the bed to conserve energy. I almost had to go back to the bedpost, but when I realized they were about to make me get out of bed, I gave it everything I had, and he began to crown. And that's when things got serious.

Ben came out with the cord wrapped tightly around his neck. He was fine until right at the end, when his heart rate plummeted. When the midwife looked at me and said that we had to get him out now, and that I had to push without the help of a contraction, I knew she meant business. Even though I was beyond the point of exhaustion, I found the strength to get him out fast. They cut and clamped the cord from around his neck as soon as he crowned, and then a few pushes later, he was born. Daddy got to catch him, and he put Ben on my belly, but a split second later, the midwife whisked him away to the resuscitation table to work on him. He was born in distress - white as a sheet, depressed heart rate, elevated breathing and low body temperature. Daddy helped the midwife, and after 45 long minutes, he was finally up to snuff. They placed him on my belly and I fell in love!

Family portrait...that's my mom (Ben's Nana) in the pink, and my father in the picture. He couldn't be with us physically, but he was definitely there in spirit!

I want to say thank you to everyone who has followed my pregnancy journey here. I've really appreciated the support, and I've enjoyed sharing everything with you all. I don't want to say this is my last post ever (because I may still have a few things to wrap up as I gather my thoughts in the next few weeks)...and perhaps I shall continue on Littlesaur? Time will tell, I suppose!

The girl who knew too much

The first few days after my new niece was born were fairly rough on me. My husband has definitely noticed this in me and instead of our usual plans to BD, we had a heart to heart.

He was pretty worried about me and how I get so emotional about ttc sometimes. Usually it's just before I "find out my fate" each month but I've also been greatly affected by this new baby too.

I told my DH that I just wished there was a way to stop getting so emotional about ttc and thinking about it all the time. I know that it's a matter of me just choosing to stop feeling sorry for myself or worrying about the future or being jealous or whatever it is that is causing my pain. We talked about how everyone has a cross to bear in their lives, and no ones cross is exactly the same as someone elses. We both feel that God is using this situation to help me learn and grow in my relationship with Him.

DH has been feeling like things were becoming too mechanical in our approach to ttc. Honestly, I had been thinking about this for a little while now, and the new baby situation has simply been the catalyst for us to sit down and talk things through. He thinks that ttc is coming between us in our relationship, and that something has to change. That I need to start focusing on the familiy we DO have instead of dreaming about the family that MIGHT be.

He really cut to the heart of the matter...

We decided after our talk that it's time to stop ttc. It's been a year since I started temping my bbt again, and it's been a good thing since it prompted me to go see the doctor and get some answers. Then after that I was on clomid for those 3 months, so I needed to track my bbt and ovulation date etc. But now, we're done with that chapter of our lives and it's time to get back to basics.

I need to feel spontaneous again when it comes to intimacy. No more focusing on timing and the infamous 'fertile window.' I refuse to let that get in the way of the closeness I share with my husband.

It's time to move on and focus on my family 'as is'.

I threw my thermometer in a drawer and was done with it. It was such a relief...a breath of fresh air. Freedom!

Itchyitchyitchy!

Over the weekend my belly started itching, especially around my stretchmarks. The twins have been growing and stretching my skin a lot lately, so I didn't really worry about it much - just slathered on lotion and continued as normal. And then it got worse. And worse.

I had an appointment with my OBGYN on Monday and asked him about the itching. He said it wasn't unexpected since my skin is stretching so much, and suggested trying lanolin cream for some extra relief. So I did. I tried regular lotion, baby oil, lanolin, even calamine lotion - and it kept getting worse.

Over the last 2 days, it's developed into a full blown rash that covers my entire belly, parts of my breasts and thighs, and even some of my arms. And the itching...oh my god, the ITCHING.

Last night I completely melted down. Mr Bibliosaur came home and asked me how my day was, and I just lost it. I can handle the pelvic pain. I can handle the gestational diabetes - the diet, the insulin injections. I can handle the back pain, the exhaustion, the sheer weight of the babies dragging at my body...but I CANNOT handle this. The itchiness is unbelievably agonizing. It's like the worst burning itch you've ever experienced, and it will.not.stop. I can barely tolerate a shirt touching my skin. Mr Bibliosaur can't even put his hand on my belly, and barely on any other part of my skin lest it set off some kind of itchy chain reaction.

So after lying in bed in tears last night, unable to sleep due to the rash, I called my OB's office first thing this morning and managed to get in to see him today. When I showed him my belly, he made an unhappy face and said that he had been worried at my last appointment that this might happen, but hadn’t wanted to say anything just in case the itchiness really was due to the stretching.

He mentioned Cholestasis of Pregnancy, which 1-1.5% of pregnant women get, but from what I’ve read (and yes I KNOW I’m not a doctor) I think it’s more likely that I have PUPPP, which about 1 in 200 pregnant women end up with. I think this mostly because CP doesn’t normally present with a rash but PUPPP does – plus, with CP the itching is usually concentrated in your hands and feet, but with PUPPP it often starts on your abdomen and then progresses to your legs, breasts and arms, as mine has. They both cause intense itching, and for both of them the only cure is giving birth. CP, however, has significantly more risks – it’s caused by bile acid buildup in the bloodstream – including premature labour and stillbirth, so he may just be playing it conservatively by wanting to monitor me for this.

At any rate, as these things can only be treated but not cured, for now we're just trying to deal with the symptoms, so my doctor has given me Phenergan. This won’t take the rash away but hopefully it will help control the unbearable itchiness. If this doesn’t work, we’ll have to try steroid pills or creams.

And now I'm going to do something I thought I'd never do - I'm going to post a big ole bare bump photo on the internet so you can take a look at this rash, along with all of my swollen stretchmarks. I'm warning you - it's not a pretty sight, so feel free to stop reading now.



Still with me?



You sure?



OK then - here you go:

This photo really doesn't capture just how bad it is - how red, how swollen, how painful, how ITCHY.

I just....I am just so over this right now. I know I only need to hang in there for another 3.5 weeks, but I've got to be honest - that is looking like a LOOOOONG time right now.

Are Your HPT's Laughing at You Too?!

When we first started TTC, I bought HPT's monthly and used them monthly! Every time was the same, another BFN followed by a visit from AF! The last time I used a test I vowed to not do it again until I felt I had a valid reason... only, my valid reasons always seem to get the best of me! So once again, I unwrapped the last of the stockpile in our medicine cabinet and prayed for two lines... and like every other failed attempt, got a BFN!

TwoWeekWait.com is a wonderful site full of good advice for those of us TTC. I stumbled across this earlier this morning and I swear whoever came up with it must have a camera in my bathroom! Follow these 15 easy steps and you too could look as hopeless as me when taking a HPT!


Step 1...Pee on the stick. (must be sure to hold it under urine stream for a heartbeat longer than recommended just to be sure).

Step 2...Stare at stick while you continue peeing. Feel heart jump when urine passes over the spot where the line would be and it hitches for a second, then gets a dark line...then keeps going, taking your dark line with it to the test window.

Step 3...Place on bathroom counter. Pretend not to stare at it. Let's try to give yourself busy work to keep from looking at it. In fact, your toilet now gets cleaned once per day.

Step 4...Tell yourself you are expecting a BFN. Then start to mist up when you see that it is, in fact, a BFN. Stare at the blank spot for a full minute before picking it up.

Step 5...First, go to window and check it under day light.

Step 6...Now, stand on toilet to be closer to light in ceiling. Check strip.

Step 7...Close one eye. Squint other eye.

Step 8...Turn on several lamps around house. Hold strip under lamp. Check strip.

Step 9...Hold strip OVER lamp. Check strip.

Step 10...Hold strip in front of lamp so light shines THROUGH strip, just in case.

Step 11...Pull stick apart. Hesitate for a heartbeat when you realize you are holding the still wet "wick" in one hand, then continue the destruction.

Step 12...Repeat Steps 5-9.

Step 13...Throw stick away.

Step 14...Pick stick back up out of trash.

Step 15...Repeat Steps 12 and 13 the rest of the day!

The end is near?

So when I last left off, our midwife was telling us we had a big baby, and sent us in for a growth ultrasound for "size greater than dates". The ultrasound confirmed her suspicions, as much as it was able to. The tech was great at explaining to us that the weight measurement is just a guess, because they can't see fatty tissue, only bone. But all his bone measurements, including his skull, were measuring ahead as well. In sum, they put me at 15 days ahead of my due date, which would technically put me at 40 weeks...today.

There's a possibility that, had we chosen to go with a traditional hospital birth, we'd be talking to our doctor right now about inducing. Thankfully, we didn't go that route. We're delivering at a birth center, and that word hasn't even been brought up. Instead, they moved tomorrow's 38 week appointment from the afternoon to the morning, and they're going to "do some things" at said appointment to hopefully kick-start labor. Then send Mr. Citysaur and me home with some "homework".

Now, to most people, I've just been telling them that I'm not being induced, they're just going to do some voodoo magic on me. It's easier (and not TMI) to explain that way, especially to coworkers. But as this is a pregnancy blog, how about the real truth? I'm not 100%, because the midwife went over this rather quickly last week, but I believe the voodoo magic includes massaging the cervix and stripping the membranes. I'm not sure what else the midwife has up her sleeve, but I'm pretty sure I caught mention of those two at least.

So, perhaps Homer is right, and the end is near. I'm off work tomorrow, because after the appointment, we're supposed to go home and see if anything progresses. I was already 2 CM dilated as of last Thursday, so it's not totally out of the question that this could work. But even if it doesn't, I think it's likely he'll be coming some time in the next couple of weeks. It's still just a waiting game!

Le Sigh...

I have such a range of emotions happening right now and I can't seem to sort them all out..

I don't know if you remember, but I posted earlier about my plans to be there to help my sister-in-law when she delivers her 3rd baby. Well, that didn't happen...for a few good reasons. And I'm thinking, it was better this way.

Here's the story...

Dear sis-in-law (SIL) was due sometime between March 2nd and March 9th. (You know, the whole cycle vs. ultrasound due date thing?) March 2nd (ultrasound DD) came and went and I was on stand by to race to the hospital at any moment. We waited and waited (nothing new when it comes to having babies, of course) and it was getting closer to the weekend. The monkey wrench in the plans were that my family and friends had planned a 30th birthday bash for me on Sunday, so obviously wouldn't be able to make it on that day. We had different back up plans for if it happened on the weekend, so it was totally fine, but I was hoping it wouldn't happen while I was gone.

Of course, SIL started having regular contractions on Sunday morning. I conceded to the fact that I wasn't going to be there for the birth. So I went on with the day, excited about the b-day plans that my wonderful DH and best friends had put together. It was a fabulous day full of great famiily, great friends, and great food and gifts.

We got periodic updates throughout the day on SIL's situation. She never actually checked into the hospital, because she wanted to labor without being hooked up to machines laying on a bed. She wandered the hospital all day long...poor thing. Finally, that night when her contractions started getting further apart they told her she should go home. (Keep in mind that we live 30 minutes from the nearest hospital) So she and my brother-in-law went home for the night, taking the big walk of shame out of the hospital.

To make a long story short, she was laboring throughout the night and then decided at about 6am yesterday morning that they needed to start heading back to the hospital. Her hubby was determined to wait until her water broke, but that still hadn't happened. She was having a lot of back labor and knew she needed to go back. Well, they did make it to the hospital...the hospital parking garage, that is. Baby decided to make her grand entrance in the car inside the hospital parking garage!!! Oh.my.word. Craziness.

Baby girl and mama are perfectly healthy and happy, thank the Lord!! I went and saw them yesterday afternoon and she is as cute as can be...all 8 lbs & 21 1/4 inches of her.

Now that it's all said and done things are starting to hit me. I am so happy for them...but I'm on the verge of tears at any moment. I knew back when I found out that she was pregnant that it would be pretty tough on me to see her with brand new baby in hand, especially if I still didn't have any prospects for a new baby of my own. And of course, that's the situation I find myself in...

Like I said earlier, I really don't know how to sort it all out. For now I keep this dream close to my heart and I continue to pray that it becomes a reality.

WHISPER
by A Fine Frenzy

Running the race
Like a mouse in a cage getting nowhere
but I'm trying
Forging ahead
But I'm stuck in the bed that I made
so I'm lying

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me still

Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still

The sound tires on my lips
To fade away into forgetting

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still