It's a strange feeling, in a way - to be pregnant but not that pregnant. To not have to wonder when I'd go into labor (now? how about now?) or when our baby would come (today? tomorrow? last week?). To not have a nursery finished, not have felt any kicks, not have picked a name, not have planned and prepared to the best of my ability for our baby's imminent arrival. It is a surreal feeling to know that I could have already given birth to and held that first baby lovingly in my arms.
None of this makes me any less grateful for the startling, stunning, terrifyingly wonderful miracle that we have now, with our two beautiful children on the way. But I still feel a sadness when I think about my first pregnancy, and I will never, ever forget what that baby meant in our lives - you are always and forever in my heart, my little one.
2 thoughts: